I am lost. I know who I am, who I’ve been and who I want to be. But I’m so confused on how to make the three all makes sense. Ive been told that I’m rude, and have a bad attitude. And I can recognize some parts of my personality that are so ugly, a rotten, poison that I possess, and yet I don’t know how to root it out. I’ve been hurt by others…but I’ve never seen that as a reason to take my frustrations out on strangers or even those I know and love. But I’m starting to wonder if the hurt that I’ve experienced has anything to do with the being that I’ve become. I can admit that there’s room for improvement; which to me stands as a test to the fact that I recognize my imperfection. I’ve never claimed to be perfect, nor will I ever. But I’m sooooo tired. I’m exhausted from trying to be the people pleaser. I try, I try to make ones feel loved and appreciated even though that’s a feeling that I very rarely ever get in return. I’m trying so hard to keep going, to not give up on all of this and just walk away from it all. The problem with this whole situation is that I’m a logical person. I can’t reason on the fact that if I do leave, “run away” so to speak…it won’t change anything but the scenery. Change is needed, change is coming, I just don’t know when or how.
Change
